A Defining Moment!

A DEFINING MOMENT!
continued from post- Changed from the Inside Out

My life was now characterized by fresh hope and joy in my relationship with God. I was constantly learning something new. It was a time of wonder. However, I still had my compulsion to overeat and bad habits that I had developed over a lifetime.

One of these was sneak eating. I ate undercover because I was so self-conscious. I thought that people were looking at me and saying, "Why is she eating?" "She doesn't need that." "She is so fat." I was enslaved by what I thought people were thinking about me.

As I began to process the truth of the Bible I will never forget the day that the truth of God's love for me went from my head to my heart. I had been hearing about it. I repeated it to other people. I thought I believed it, but I had never really applied it to me.

I can remember exactly where I stood all by myself in my apartment when I realized that God loved me no matter what. That meant that he loved me if I was 300 pounds over weight. He loved me if I ate compulsively. NO MATTER WHAT I DID OR DID NOT DO, HE LOVED ME WITH AN EVERLASTING LOVE. I can still feel what this felt like. I gloried in that moment.
This epiphany was the first step to begin to free me from my self-consciousness.

I made a decision from then on to eat whatever I ate in front of people. I chose to care more about what God thought of me than what people thought of me. (I have since learned that people are pretty busy thinking about themselves and are not always thinking about me!)
My self-consciousness was not gone, but it began to be replaced with God-consciousness. My habit of sneak eating was so strong that I had to make a conscious decision each meal to relax and stop worrying what people were thinking about me. I reminded myself of God's love for me.
I believe that when the truth of God's love came through to me, I made the biggest change in relationship to food. The compulsiveness began to lose its hold on me. It was during this time that I made one of my most important realizations about food and diet that has affected the rest of my life. Read about it in my next post- Never Say Diet!

Thank you Lord God for what you have done and continue to do in my life!